Secondary Losses

In addition to the loss of the person who died, you are likely experiencing other losses as well.  Secondary losses are those losses that accompany the death of a loved one. A few examples are:

Loss of Self

  • Self - “Part of me died, too”
  • Identity – having to rethink your role (spouse, son, daughter, parent, brother, sister, friend, etc.)
  • Self confidence - lessened self esteem, shame
  • Health - physical responses to mourning
  • Personality - "I'm just not myself anymore"
     

Loss of Safety/Security

  • Emotional - loss causes emotional upheaval
  • Physical - "Who will take care of me?" (my physical needs)
  • Fiscal - concern about family finances
  • Lifestyle - changes in family life, the way that you live and do things
     

Loss of Meaning

  • Goals and dreams - plans made together shattered by the death
  • Faith - questioning belief systems
  • Will/desire to live - not caring about things anymore, a desire to join your loved one
  • Happiness - doubting that life will be good again
     

There are many other types of secondary loss that can accompany the death of a loved one. What additional losses have you experienced?

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