Resiliency Skills

The following list includes qualities and characteristics that are helpful to mourners.  As you read, you may recognize a number of your own strengths. You may also find qualities that you would like to further develop in yourself. If so, work on only one or two at a time.  It is important to set realistic goals for yourself, and if you attempt to change too many things at once, it can be overwhelming.

Resiliency skills: Attitudes and behaviors that allow us to bounce back and see things in a different way

  • Knowing that you have the power to change some aspects of your life
  • Viewing problems as a challenge
  • Having a positive mental attitude
  • Not allowing emotions to overwhelm you
  • Letting other people be who they are
  • Dealing directly with people rather than going through another person
  • Having a spiritual connection

Activities and behaviors to replenish yourself

  • Remembering to breathe
  • Taking a positive perspective on things
  • Learning relaxation skills
  • Being mindful of the here and now
  • Remembering to move

Basic self care:

  • Eating properly
  • Making time to exercise
  • Having quality time with family/loved ones
  • Taking personal time for meditation/rest/relaxation
  • Taking up a hobby
  • Watching or participating in sports
  • Minimizing alcohol/tobacco/caffeine consumption
  • Appreciating art and music
  • Getting involved in community activities
  • Enjoying the beauty of nature

Connect with others: Creating and maintaining a wide variety of positive relationships

  • Staying connected with supportive people (who comprehend the magnitude of your loss)
  • Providing service to others through church or civic groups
  • Becoming a part of a sporting group (fishing, golf, hiking, biking)
  • Taking a class
  • Participating in social activities

Additional forms of resiliency:

  • Gaining new job skills
  • Resolving resentment and conflict with self and others
  • Getting needed help to resolvetraumatic stress

 

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